Petaling Street blues

I was walking along Petaling Street during lunch (the real one, not the cyber one), and at least half a dozen touts came up to me and said, “Lang chai, oi tai ham tai mo?” (Hey handsome, you wanna see some porno?)
A quick smile and a dimissive wave of the hand, and they left me alone; but it got me thinking of how different street touts are in each country i’ve visited.
In Thailand, “Hey Big Boy, you wanna have a f***? Big girl, small girl, white girl, Chinese girl, all i got.” — with a deft flick of the wrist he whips out a “menu” of women.
In Taiwan, “(Whisper) Hey, you wanna buy some Gucci handbags? Valentino? Dior? All i got, special price.” — he then leads you to a small back alley store room full of imitation designer goods.
In Cambodia (yup, been there too), “Hey Big Brother, you wanna get high?” — a quick look into the insides of his jacket reveals a small bag of heroin.
In New York, “Hey man, what you looking at? Hey, hey… you wanna some speed?” — he palms a small zip lock bag of suspicious looking pills.
In New Zealand, “Hey, hey… you look like you could use a sheep, mate.” — just kidding about this last one. 🙂
All manners of vice, you want to know what a country specializes in, the street touts will know.


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