Sex and Marriage III

There are many reasons why we should be married: social security, comfort, companionship, love, wealth, social status, even sex.
Of them all, is there a right reason for marriage? Or are all reasons, wrong? Or perhaps there shouldn’t be a reason for marriage, it just happens when two people spend a lot of time together, and want to spend a whole lot more time together. Perhaps, banal as it sounds, that is in itself a reason for marriage. Perhaps not. Who knows? Who should know? Does anyone know? Does anyone want to know?
When marriage approaches, its normal that we begin asking ourselves these questions, and sometimes, we begin to panic when the answers are unsatisfactory. That, believe it or not, is a good thing. I would think that those among us who don’t ask these questions, or are not worried about the answers, should be the ones who have more to worry about.
Its a sad fact, that often, these questions pop up after marriage, in many cases, after many years of marriage. Why am i here? Did he marry me just because he wants to sleep with me? Oh no, he used to be rich, now he is poor — what will happen to me? I’m getting bored, what’s next?
Damn, forget about marriage, these are the questions we often ask ourselves even while we’re courting! If you didn’t have the answers then, what makes you think that you’ll have the answers later, after you’ve both said your “I dos”?
Take it all in, and let yourself not be discouraged. Marriage is still the holiest natural institution that two people can share. Its not to be treated lightly, and its not to be treated with too much care, lest we become afraid of all that it is and start treading like we’re walking on eggshells.
Every case is different, some may be easy, some may be not. Every marriage is different, some will require careful consideration, some may be perfectly blissful for 50 years, and some others, well, the partners in the marriage may just not give a damn to care either way. There is no right way, but there is certainly a need to examine your expectations. Don’t let yourself be disappointed, but if you are, its often never too late to re-examine the reasons for it, and mitigate them together with your spouse.


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