A few days ago, an episode of Friends introduced me to a new term: “spermtastic” — referring to a really fit, good looking dude, who has great “sperm-donor” potential. Chandler’s is suffering from a low sperm count, but he and Monica are desperate for a baby.
Its interesting that they as a couple are entertaining the idea of using another man’s sperm to impregnate Monica. I don’t think i would be able to accept such a scenario if i were Chandler. The thought of another man’s sperm in my wife’s womb, and the resulting child not being of my DNA, is a horrifying thought. Better than being childless? Nay, the mental torture of it all is not worth it, not for me anyways.
The situation Chandler and Monica are in is not unique, nor are the variety of options they have to consider. Lots of couples all over the world go through the same thing, and i’ll bet Malaysia has its fair share, though this is problem that is rarely spoken of in “polite circles”.
There is perhaps only one real way to avoid it: have pre-nuptial medical check ups. Check for AIDS, genetic disorders, check for low sperm counts or infertility. Only marry when both partners are certified “OK”. It all sounds very sterile, i suppose. It definitely does complicate the relationship.
ME: “Before we get married, let’s have a medical check up. I want to make sure i’m fertile and so are you.”
The obvious embarassment that precedes and follows this conversation is mind-numbing. But, necessary. Imagine the potential despair and sorrow and tension that can occur if checks are not done pre-nup, and post-nup, its discovered that problems do exist.
ME: “Honey, i’ve got AIDS. I’ve been HIV positive for 10 years. I just found out.”
HER: “But we’ve been married 2 years…”
HER: “Honey, my family has a genetic heart disorder — males in my family die before they reach 30.”
ME: “But we’ve been married 2 years… and you’re pregnant.”
Of course, the above makes light of the possible scenarios that could happen, but i think they do make the question worth asking:
ME: “Honey, we’re getting married soon. Shall we go see the doctor?”
The important question is not the above, but its the one if (when?) you find out something is wrong.
DOCTOR: “I’m afraid i have some bad news…”
What do you do then? You’re in love, but… would you still want to get married?